of fish and fairytales.i was five years old when i first started dreaming of fish.of fish and fairytales.
i made wishes on them, sometimes. and 'don't ever leave me,' i told them. 'please don't.'
i know it sounds insane but i could swear - and still do - that they promised me they'd never leave. that they'd carry my dreams into eternity and hold me. keep me from falling. drowning.
'be my gills when i can't swim anymore,' i told them. 'be my gills.'
and they were.
.
i was nine when my parents got a divorce.
that night, i didn't understand. that night, i cried until the sky was painted in crimson lights an
comparisonI love you like an FBI agent loves his confidentials with outspoken disdain, but with the silent reverencecomparison
of a bishop who loves a ripened hooker producing copious friction on his neglected phallus, loves it
as much as a poet who, try as she might to find something new, loves her used analogies, like
the forgotten grandmother who loves to visit the thrift store every Saturday, waiting to die while comparing prices on socks,
as if she were a mathematician who loves quantifying events into numbers, as muc
112309your coat picked up mud as it scratched along the road, whisper this is not a lie this is not a lie this is not just trying to convince yourself that the lines and wrinkles ingrained into the backs of your knees and palms are just your skin's hateful spots.112309
i am afraid of you, god, i am afraid of how your smile tilts at three in the morning and how i mix up your left and right hands, and the way your t-shirt brushes your stomach as you stretch up to shake away the cobwebs in your spine. i am afraid of you, god, i am so afraid.
sweetness, your arms are coarse like the bark of a tree and your chin scratches against th
the things i don't know how to say.
Sentimental
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